*Romance

Intro: Because I could. What other reason do I need?

Kirkpatrick turned off the television in disgust. Once again, Hollywood had taken a perfect good monster and made it, loveable. Werewolves, aliens, mutants, vampires, what was next? Two headed monsters with three arms? Nope. Never mind. That had been done too.

“If you’re bored why don’t you take a walk?” Gladys said leaning over the back of the couch and turning the television back on. “While I finish the show.”

“You already know how it’s going to end.” Kirkpatrick said as he stood up and brushed at impeccable sleeve. “The tragic but amazing man will beat all possible odds against his own character and choose true love over nature.”

“But I can always hope.” She replied, sitting in the recently vacated seat.

He left the mansion. It was still raining and the drops pattered against the dark leaves. Even though the house was located in the middle of the forest, there were no animal noises of any kind. Just how he liked it.

At the road two women accosted him. Though neither of them were sober, they could still walk in a fairly straight line and knew the alphabet.

“Hello, hot stuff.” One purred. “How about a date?”

He pursed his lips and regarded the scantily clad women. The one that was more sober stared at him with wide eyes.

“Red eyes, white skin. What are you?” The bottle fell loosely from her hands a she scrambled away.

“Vampire?” The other one breathed, ignoring her friend’s hasty retreat.

Kirkpatrick rolled his eyes and sighed, waiting for the next line which was always “But your hair is red.” Everyone, well, the two people who had a chance to realize what he was before he ate them commented on his red hair.

“Will you please go on a date with me?” She clutched his arm tightly and looked up at him through her lashes. “Pluh-ease?”

He pulled out of her grasped and rubbed his lip thoughtfully. “A chance at true love?”

“It would be epic.” She replied. “I’m . . . Faith.”

“And I’m Charles.” He replied flatly.

“Oh, what a grand name.” She latched onto his arm again and tried to pull him towards a building.

Clenching his teeth, he slowly walked towards the building and paused at the door as she threw it open. He remained where he was as she dashed in. After a moment she came back.

“Aren’t you coming?”

Blast Hollywood. They make real vampires seem so drab.

“I don’t really feel invited.” He replied.

“Of course you’re invited, silly. Come in and have a drink.”

He should leave. This wasn’t nearly as fun. His ‘date’ would switch between using words. Some words came straight out of an eighteenth-century romance novel, no, he thought, probably not the books but the Hollywood movies. Other times she spoke the meaningless jabber with her friends that mimicked their own written abilities. It gave him a headache.

For the next four hours she paraded him around the town inviting him in to all the hangouts. She offered him drinks but he always politely declined and would usher her on to the next place when she looked like she was getting to friendly with the beverages.

“Wow, it’s nearly four and I’m not smashed. That’s a first.” She pulled away from him for a moment and spun in a circle on the sidewalk.

“Faith.” Kirkpatrick called. She didn’t respond. “Faith.”

“What? Who . . . oh. Yes.” She replied.

“How about a walk in the park?”

“Will you protect me, Charles?”

“From all but the scariest of monsters.” He replied.

Away from the lights and noise of the city he led her to a large tree and a pond. He pushed her back against the tree and could hear her heart beating rapidly.

“I owe you my thanks.” He said, leaning closer.

“Why?”

“Because you’ve invited me so many places I couldn’t go before.” His sharp teeth sunk into her neck.

“Let me go . . .” She faltered

Good, she was sober enough to realize what a fool she’d been. Her body made no splash as it slid into the pond.

---

Gladys looked up briefly as he sat down on the couch next to her. She’d put in another movie, this one didn’t appear any different than the hundreds of others. If she was lucky, it would end right before the sun rose.

“You know,” he said, shifting down on the couch a little. “I think Hollywood may actually not be completely daft.”