*Makeup

Steve (#6)

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate attractive women but I've definitely had my fill of them the last couple of days. If I never see a bottle of perfume or a stick of lipstick again I will die a happy man.

So my group of wacko friends are even stranger than normal. It wasn't hard to realize that Ty and Brad were the one's behind it all. They told all of us to be careful but I had too much to do than worry about every little object I touched. On Friday I went to a party at a friends house. It was totally kicking and I managed to get one of the cuter attendees, whose name is Carol, to myself. I asked her to dinner the next evening.

“Wow Steve, you really want to have dinner with me?” She giggled and primped her hair.

I know, I could have done better but what can I say? All girls should be given one chance to date someone like me.

“When should I be ready?” She fumbled with her purse and dropped it, the contents spilled everywhere.

I knelt down to help her and grabbed her tube of lipstick. There was a tingling sensation but I ignored it. The rest of the evening was successful, and by the end I had three more dates set. As I rode my motorcycle home that evening I realized a car was following me. There was no reason a car should so I took a round-a-bout way home. By the time the car was out of sight, I was completely lost.

For the next two hours I drove around the fields. Rain poured down and turned to snow. I finally found an old farmhouse and took shelter for the night. From the moment I walked in the door I felt uncomfortable but I was cold and tired and collapsed on the couch.

I don't know how long I was asleep before a gaggle of giggling woke me. Seven pairs of eyes bedecked in liner, and power stared at me. The occupants of the house were seven cheerleaders on a training retreat. The first day was heavenly, they waited on me hand and foot and were constantly fighting for my attention. By the second day I had a head ache when I woke. Though none of them were overly perfumed the seven scents mixing together was unbearable.

Using the bathroom was a joke. I had a square inch of counter space to put my tooth brush, comb, razor, and deodorant. Every time I moved I knocked something off the counter.

By the third day I was glad when the hopeful boy who wanted Carol's attention came to the farmhouse.

“Steve, I'll fight you for Carol.”

“You'll what?”

“I'll fight you.”

I thought about it for a second as the seven girls prepared a cheer for my upcoming battle.

“I'll make a deal with you. You give me a ride home, and I'll personally introduce you to her.”

Carol was more than happy to go with the other guy since I had unintentionally stood her up for dinner.

One of these days I will find a beautiful girl who is willing to give me the counter space. That will be the day. I will forever ask to see the makeup case before I take the girl on a date.