Age and the Art (Tactfulness) of Estimating

This last weekend my husband and I went to a family reunion. This was for my paternal grandfather's family. There isn't an overabundance of us and I can recognize some of them on sight, though I still have a hard time with names. I just normally say "I'm so-and-so's daughter" and they reply in kind.

My husband often gets questions as to who he belongs to. I normally answer that he is my husband. One relative looked at him and said "You're married? I thought you were — (Half his age.)" This isn't the first time someone has guessed his age wrong. He was very polite about it and though he laughs, I know it does kind of bother him that he looks a lot younger than he is.

A lot of people tell him to be grateful he looks young, but they are probably thinking it isn't a bad thing for people to guess a couple of years younger. People are wrong about my husband's age by more than a decade. Image it this way, you are thirty and people still don't think you are old enough to vote. This is what it is like for my husband. This much of a difference isn't cool or flattering.

When the situation arises that people ask for me to guess their age I always politely decline. I have been doing this for years. The main reason that I don't want to guess their age is because I am horrible at it. That is the other reason why I don't guess their age. Age is a very touchy subject for a lot of people. When I guess wrong I am either, offending them because I thought they looked older than they actually are, or offending them because they look younger than they actually are. I don't think there is a way to tactfully guess someone's age. But I guess if they ask you to, they should expect a wrong answer.